Category: Uncategorized

Let me tell you a little tale…

that proves that if at first you do not succeed, try, try again. The answer may lie where you least expect it. About 10 days ago, I came up with a brainstorm: start laying the groundwork for a different type of career should it ever come to that, and if not, use this groundwork to give me a sense of purpose and fulfillment intellectually … Read More Let me tell you a little tale…

For My Father, Who Has Passed, on Christmas Day, 2017

What is it like when your father dies? I’ve been trying to articulate the feeling for a long time now, ever since August 11th when he passed, but I haven’t been able to put it into words until this Christmas Eve morning when I woke up thinking of James Joyce’s story “Araby,” and suddenly, the words were there. It has been many years since … Read More For My Father, Who Has Passed, on Christmas Day, 2017

Arthritis, Arcade Fire, Authority, Alchemy

(Originally written on 5 October 2016). Those four things don’t seem connected: don’t worry. They are. About 5 weeks ago, my knee buckled and hyper-extended, loudly cracked, and set off a moment of blinding pain. I slowed my breathing, then slowly stood up and realized that I could still walk. I put on a brace, and I went to bed. I told myself that … Read More Arthritis, Arcade Fire, Authority, Alchemy

On Rape Culture (trigger warning: rape, unwanted physical contact)

Looking back, I realize that it’s a miracle that I didn’t get raped when I was in high school or college. The news that Brock Turner, convicted rapist (whose name I can barely stomach typing but whose name needs to be out there so the RIGHT person can be shamed), has gotten away with a 6 month sentence for assaulting and raping an unconscious … Read More On Rape Culture (trigger warning: rape, unwanted physical contact)

Lucid Dream No. 1

A second cup of coffee at 3:28pm: the morning hazy with vague unease, I light a candle, read a book, till the first cup of coffee fails to stifle my restlessness and I drift off to sleep again. I conjure you in a vision athough as usual I mix your face, your body, your scent with others. I half-wake and see my tattoo and … Read More Lucid Dream No. 1

Torches

Sometimes the torch you carry is so blinding That you forget there is a sun But without the sun there would be no fire No passion no ambition no drive To become one And you have to learn To touch that torch to water, The steam rising around you But instead of obscuring It brings clarity And when the fog clears The only shining … Read More Torches

Orchards

The first time I dream of Aidan, I’m standing in my orchard at the back of my property. It’s about 50 degrees and overcast, the wind alternating between a gentle breeze and something a bit more chilly. It’s early spring, and I don’t know why we are under the apple trees, but he’s standing next to me and I’m wearing his shirt. It’s a … Read More Orchards

(Un)Conscious Metamorphosis

After the 13th fairy cursed me my father ordered all the spinning wheels destroyed. Great heaving piles of burning timbers came crashing down, who knew there were that many spindles afoot? We were all desperate to keep my innocence From draining out. Of course he could not anticipate that the fire would entrance me. I stood in the tower belonging to the wise woman … Read More (Un)Conscious Metamorphosis

Reflections on an Online Retreat with Pema Chodron

Having just completed an online retreat with Pema Chodron offered by the Omega Institute, I wanted to reflect on the past two and a half days. I feel like this essay will be rambling and not as “literary” as my usual attempts at writing, but it comes from the heart. Four years ago, I took part in a similar retreat, and as I recall, … Read More Reflections on an Online Retreat with Pema Chodron

Ignore My Image, and Instead, Hear My Words

Every 6-8 months, in yet another effort to connect with someone when leaving it up to chance leads to encounters that are few and far between, I make a new profile with some online dating service. I became so enraged over a year ago with two dating services that I demanded to have my profiles not simply deactivated but destroyed. Believe me, you have to go … Read More Ignore My Image, and Instead, Hear My Words

The Ultimate (Bookish) Fantasy

Oil lamps cast shadows as you wet your fingertips and turn the page. Clearing your throat, you begin anew. Enraptured by the words spilling from your lips, I move closer, inhaling the scent of your skin as it mingles with the fragrance of dusty pages. Balancing the book in one hand, you reach for me. At the chapter’s close, our hands are clasped.

Blue Plastic Pitchers

Sofia pulled into the parking lot, parked, and pulled out her phone to post a status update: “My mood can’t be any worse so I may as well go to Walmart.” But then she decided it would only serve to make friends worried, so she told herself to put her phone away and just get out of the car and go in. She felt … Read More Blue Plastic Pitchers