Tag: loss

For My Father, Who Has Passed, on Christmas Day, 2017

What is it like when your father dies? I’ve been trying to articulate the feeling for a long time now, ever since August 11th when he passed, but I haven’t been able to put it into words until this Christmas Eve morning when I woke up thinking of James Joyce’s story “Araby,” and suddenly, the words were there. It has been many years since … Read More For My Father, Who Has Passed, on Christmas Day, 2017

Arthritis, Arcade Fire, Authority, Alchemy

(Originally written on 5 October 2016). Those four things don’t seem connected: don’t worry. They are. About 5 weeks ago, my knee buckled and hyper-extended, loudly cracked, and set off a moment of blinding pain. I slowed my breathing, then slowly stood up and realized that I could still walk. I put on a brace, and I went to bed. I told myself that … Read More Arthritis, Arcade Fire, Authority, Alchemy

Lucid Dream No. 1

A second cup of coffee at 3:28pm: the morning hazy with vague unease, I light a candle, read a book, till the first cup of coffee fails to stifle my restlessness and I drift off to sleep again. I conjure you in a vision athough as usual I mix your face, your body, your scent with others. I half-wake and see my tattoo and … Read More Lucid Dream No. 1

Torches

Sometimes the torch you carry is so blinding That you forget there is a sun But without the sun there would be no fire No passion no ambition no drive To become one And you have to learn To touch that torch to water, The steam rising around you But instead of obscuring It brings clarity And when the fog clears The only shining … Read More Torches

Orchards

The first time I dream of Aidan, I’m standing in my orchard at the back of my property. It’s about 50 degrees and overcast, the wind alternating between a gentle breeze and something a bit more chilly. It’s early spring, and I don’t know why we are under the apple trees, but he’s standing next to me and I’m wearing his shirt. It’s a … Read More Orchards

Blue Plastic Pitchers

Sofia pulled into the parking lot, parked, and pulled out her phone to post a status update: “My mood can’t be any worse so I may as well go to Walmart.” But then she decided it would only serve to make friends worried, so she told herself to put her phone away and just get out of the car and go in. She felt … Read More Blue Plastic Pitchers